Can you buy self esteem on Ebay?

Sometime Thursday night, my refrigerator stopped working. It was very late at night when I discovered all the crap in the freezer was soggy. So early Friday morning I called maintainence to tell them. I took all the 20+ frozen dinners to my parents' deep freeze. I couldn't have been gone for more than an hour, but when I got back they had already taken my old fridge out an brought the new one in. Of course when they did this, they made a huge mess of my apartment and made absolutely no effort to clean it up. There was "freezer juice" all over my kitchen floor. They had to move my desk to get the refrigerators out and in. They knocked all the shit off my desk and piled it up on top. So now I have a new, working refrigerator, but now my apartment smells like freezer juice.

Friday night, my sister was in town so I went to my parents' to see her and the babies. Her and my mom were like, "So, is your new refrigerator pretty?" I was like, "Um, it's a damn refrigerator. It looks just like the old one." Anyway, Lesla is going to Minnesota until next Monday, but the babies will be here with my mom and Chayo's mom.

Yesterday I freaked out on my sweet boy and screamed at him for not cleaning his room. I felt so horrible I just sat there and hugged him for like an hour. Then I had to take him to see his father, but on the way I scraped up all my change to buy Father's Day cards for 2 men who don't even deserve to be called a father.

Then after I recovered, Barry came and got me and we went to Denny's to meet J.D. and Siscly. After hanging out there for about 3 hours, we went to Rack Daddy's to play pool, which I really suck at. Eventually I started to freak out and become depressed and pissed everyone off. I wasn't really drunk, just a little buzzed, but not in a good way apparently. Leave it to me to poop the party. It was supposed to be a reunion of sorts, but I think I succeeded in ruining it for everyone. Me and my fucking low self-esteem,issues, and depression. Oh well, I think Siscly will be pissed off at me for a few days, but she'll get over it. I found that J.D. and Barry love me more than I ever thought. I guess I'm lucky to have such good friends and need to quit feeling sorry for myself. Easier said than done, but I'm on a journey. I'm going to "detox" and do whatever's in my power to help myself now. Alexander deserves better than what he's got here. I'll just consider myself a new woman.

Something kind of funny, though: When I got home last night, I discovered that Sadie had been locked in Alexander's closet for roughly 10 hours. Poor kitty. But I don't think she pissed or shit on anything. Cedric seems to have forgotten who she was for some reason. He keeps hissing at her. Apparently it's pissing her off because she won't share her cat food with him.

An Attempt to Feel Better

If I were a month I would be: March
If I were a day of the week I would be: Friday
If I were a time of day I would be: 3:00 a.m.
If I were a planet I would be: Neptune
If I were a sea animal I would be: A jellyfish
If I were a direction I would be: East
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: A day bed
If I were a sin I would be: Premarital sex
If I were a historical figure I would be: Anne Boleyn
If I were a liquid I would be: Diet Dr. Pepper
If I were a stone, I would be: Limstone
If I were a tree, I would be: Weeping willow
If I were a bird, I would be: Great blue heron
If I were a tool, I would be: A hoe.
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: Daisy
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: Thunderstorm
If I were a mythical creature, I would be: Unicorn
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: Harp
If I were an animal, I would be: A black cat
If I were a color, I would be: Black
If I were a vegetable, I would be: Iceberg lettuce
If I were a sound, I would be: Fingernails scratching on a chalkboard.
If I were an element, I would be: Fire
If I were a car, I would be: A 1957 Crown Victoria
If I were a song, I would be: "Doll Parts" Hole
If I were a movie, I would be directed by: Stanley Kubrick
If I were a book, I would be written by: Margaret Atwood
If I were a food, I would be: Devil's food cake
If I were a place, I would be: The Tower of London
If I were a material, I would be: Black satin
If I were a taste, I would be: Sour
If I were a scent, I would be: Vanilla
If I were a religion, I would be: Agnostic
If I were a word, I would be: forfuckingever
If I were an object, I would be: A doormat
If I were a body part I would be: Toes full of bunions.
If I were a facial expression I would be: An evil glare.
If I were a subject in school I would be: Theatre Arts
If I were a cartoon character I would be: Lisa Simpson
If I were a shape I would be a: Celtic knot